Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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