he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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