No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
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i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
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We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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