I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
