Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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