I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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