wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize