that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
