you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
