I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
