It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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