There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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