Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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