Me. At least after what I've been through.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
