Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
