The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
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look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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