The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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