I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
