so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
