New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
