she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize