whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
