We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
