like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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