oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
the liver wants what the liver wants
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
