is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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