The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
