10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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