We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
When are your genitals available?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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