i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
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He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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