She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
