cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
