it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
