I want to have your abortion
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
