All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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