i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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