just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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