Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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