I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
