I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize