On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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