She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
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