Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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