Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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