I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
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The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
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Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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