sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
