Do you still have your period?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Randomize
