Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Rumble strips road head = magical
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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