..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
