If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize