My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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