we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize