I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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