allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
