the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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