they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize