party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
