I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
