just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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