i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
